You can end the mom guilt (and dad guilt too!)
This video has been making the rounds on Facebook lately. The video struck a chord with us because it is encouraging individuals and society to OWN IT and to find clarity in how each of us spends our time and our energy.
Every individual can choose to #endmomguilt (and dadguilt too!)
Parent guilt seems to be a trademark of this generation. You can bathe in it and wear it like a badge…”I’m only a good mom if I have mom guilt.” Or you can decide that it is not serving you, nor your family; that it is not something you wish to teach your offspring.
Guilt is a self-induced emotion.
[Guilt = expectation – reality]
As shown in the equation above, guilt is the difference between what you expected of yourself and what happens in reality. Many of the expectations that society and individuals create for parents are nowhere near reality. That is what brings guilt.
In order to decrease guilt, one must do the following:
1. Recognize it.
2. Get clear on the expectations in place.
Where did they come from?
Are they the expectations I want?
3. Get clear on the reality.
What’s really happening daily?
Do I want that to change?
Is it realistic that it will change?
Bring your expectations closer to reality OR
Change your reality to be more in line with your expectations.
Why end mom guilt?
Guilt gets in the way of our parenting. Guilt causes us to give in when we normally would not. Guilt results in letting our kids get away with things that we normally wouldn’t allow. Guilt sucks our energy and takes us away from our kids.
Guilt is pervasive because of the constant sharing of carefully manicured lives on social media. There is a sense that the world is judging…and worst of all, individuals are judging themselves based on the fake exterior being portrayed online. We rarely have conversations over the back fence, realizing that everyone else is going through the same mistakes we are. Screens don’t show us the backyards of life, they show us the edited version.
Parenting Power completely believes in ending momguilt and dadguilt and parentguilt. We also believe that every parent has the ability to decide to do that for themselves.
Do you have expectations that were created before you were ever a parent?
Do you carry expectations that are given to you buy companies that are trying to sell you products for your children or your home?
How can you make your expectations more realistic?
Are there aspects of your reality that you wish to change?
What is the first step to make those changes?
Get clear on how you will end the guilt that robs you of your energy. Create clarity on realistic ways for you to face the different aspects of guilt that you may be feeling.
The reality is that you may feel guilt from time to time, but you don’t have to remain a victim to it. Take responsibility to step out of the guilt and make the changes you wish to make in your family’s life.