Who’s responsibility is it anyway?
Over the years, you’ve heard us mention that we need to stop doing things for our kids and encourage them to take responsibility for themselves. The one big responsibility that adults can’t hand over to kids is the responsibility of parenting. That is still the adult’s job!
When it comes to our kids’ personal responsibilities, it is the parent’s job to decide:
– Clear guidelines for the bedtime routine
– Exactly what time the electronics leave the room and the lights go out
– When and for how long kids need to brush their teeth
– How often/when our kids need to bathe or shower
The clearer we can get with these expectations and the consequences that accompany them, the easier it is for everyone involved. Parents can hold kids accountable and kids can do what is expected.
Do the kids get a choice in the matter? Once you are clear on your parental expectations, the kids might get a choice that falls within your boundaries.
“We expect you to shower 3 times a week. You must shower after sports practice – which is Tuesday and Thursday. When do you want the last shower to be – Saturday or Sunday?” Then, you clearly note the decision and it is written down so that everyone has a clear understanding of the expectations.
Another part of the parental job is holding kids accountable. They don’t get to move on to the next step until the task is finished. OR they miss out on other things because they took too long to get the job done. There’s no need for more talking or nagging.
ACT, don’t YAK!
Today’s questions are:
Does your child know the bedtime routine – when it starts and the order of events? Do you stick to the routine?
Does your child know exactly what time “Lights Out” happens?
Is your child clear on when to bathe or shower each week?
Could your child tell us how many times a day he needs to brush and/or floss his teeth? Does he do it?
If we want our kids to learn to take responsibility, we need to actively take ours.