Where do excuses come from?
Did you find any excuses?
As you opened your awareness last week, did you find any excuses popping up in your family? Were they true?
The excuses we heard the most from parents this week were:
I’m really busy…
I don’t have time to…
He’s just tired…
I can’t face the tears…
Where do the excuses come from?
Excuses may have just started or they might come from way back in childhood. It may feel like they come from guilt or shame, from a need to defend one’s actions to an outer authority or to our inner selves. When we narrow it all down, excuses come from one place: FEAR.
1. The FEAR of having to CHANGE – if we use an excuse, we can maintain the status quo. We can stay in the discomfort we already know rather than jumping into new, potential discomfort.
2. The FEAR of ACCEPTING ourselves and our children for WHO WE REALLY ARE – we are not the perfect parent, nor the perfect spouse. Our kids aren’t the perfect children with the perfect friends and room, and grades. Those perfect people don’t exist here in real life.
As we begin 2015, we are encouraging our readers (and ourselves) to OWN the fears and who we really are. From there, we have the potential to learn and grow and move forward.
This week: Start talking with your family about excuses. Create a way to feel safe enough calling out excuses when we hear them. This doesn’t mean shaming someone for an excuse. Rather it means recognizing them “I hear an excuse. What is scaring us into using an excuse?”