Too busy to read this??
We know that kids live what they learn and learn what they live. Kids learn excuses from the world around them; from their friends and from their parents.
We know that prevailing culture dictates that the current status symbol, available to everyone, is “BUSY.”
Best-selling author, Robert Holden reminds us that our culture has even formulated a new greeting based on this status symbol.
“How are you doing?” and “How’s the family?” have been replaced with “Are you keeping busy?”
Have you ever said one of the following two statements?
“I’d love to get together, but we’re so busy…”
“I wish I could say yes, but we’re too busy…”
These statements are often used as excuses in an effort to give a polite no (I don’t really want to do this but I’ll say I do and that I’m too busy.)
Alternatively, these statements provide a cue to the user, that perhaps other, less important activities are getting in the way of priorities.
Do you find yourself making excuses so that you don’t hurt people’s feelings by saying no?
Do you wish that you had more free time available to do the things you really want/need to do?
How do you wish you were spending your time?
When you say yes to someone, are you able to keep your commitment?
In a recent blog post; How valuable is your yes? Jack Johnson suggested,
“…One of the most important things you can learn to do is get comfortable with saying the word “no.” If you can’t do that, you’re setting yourself up to drop a lot of balls, disappoint a lot of people, and probably have a mental breakdown.
But perhaps even more empowering is to realize the value of your “yes.” The word is sacred. It’s your commitment to another. Whether your spouse, kids, friends, colleagues, or customers, when you say yes, you are giving something of immense value. And when you don’t deliver on that yes, the damage can be deep and lasting.”
When we can get clarity on the value of our yes (saying it only when we really truly mean it and are willing to commit,) and the importance of respectfully saying no (realizing that saying no to someone else is also saying yes to ourselves and our wants/needs,) then we can get rid of these excuses and we can stop modelling them for our children.
Want to hear more about excuses?
Check out Julie’s interview with Doug Dirks on CBC Radio’s The Homestretch.