Parenting is….getting out of the way
We are hearing about it all over the place – articles, blogs, books, media. Everyone is talking about it – parents getting in the way of their kids lives.
Are you tired of hearing about it? We are too! And yet we need to keep talking about it because so many adults just aren’t getting it!
It used to be called “Helicopter Parenting,” then it became “Curling Parenting” – sweeping the pebbles off of the ice for kids. Now, we’re hearing about “Snowplow Parenting” – not just getting rid of the pebbles but everything that is in our kids’ paths.
IT’S NOT WORKING!!!
We need to let our kids develop into their own selves and we need to let them experience things working out differently than expected and allowing them to learn and grow from these situations. In a recent article, Deepak Chopra addresses many ways for us and our children to respond when things don’t go as planned.
For most of us, parenting is a series of situations that didn’t quite turn out as we had hoped. Reliving them over and over again is not the only way. We can gain an awareness and decide how we will learn and grow as we move forward. Of course, Parenting Power is always here to help with that.
This past week, we read a great article about former Stanford University Dean, Julie Lythcott-Haims. In her book, How to Raise an Adult, she talks about the overwhelmingly negative effect of Helicopter Parents on their kids. We’ve included a great video of her below.
One of Lythcott-Haims’ suggestions to get out of our kids’ way is to,
“Check your language. “If you say ‘we’ when you mean your son or your daughter — as in, ‘We’re on the travel soccer team’ — it’s a hint to yourself that you are intertwined in a way that is unhealthy,” Lythcott-Haims said.”
We are all in the business of raising adults. Whether you are parenting a toddler or a teen, if you do the job well, they turn into responsible adults. This requires awareness from all parents. We encourage you to watch and listen to your language and your responses; discover whether there are ways that you can step back, out of your children’s way. Kids don’t need us to clear the path, nor to create it. They get to make this path…we can concentrate on our own.