Mother’s Day Resolution: Don’t be too nice to your kids
Mother’s Day brings with it thoughts of flowers and brunch, cards and artwork; wonderful ways to recognize moms and thank them for their efforts year-round. As mothers, we may feel elated at the treatment or wonder just how much will be left for us to clean up once it is done.
Parenting Power’s gifts to moms the world over, is a suggestion for moms:
Don’t be too nice to your kids.
Yes, that’s right – Stop being too nice to your kids. It isn’t helping them.
What are we talking about?!
Well, let’s start with your toddler, the one who tantrums whenever he doesn’t get that treat at the grocery store. When you are a ‘Nice Mom’ and give him the treat because after all, it’s not his fault he gets dragged out for groceries each week, you are really teaching him to tantrum to get what he wants.
What about your preschooler who won’t eat her dinner unless there is a sugary treat for dessert? ‘Nice Moms‘ give their kids sugar every day because it makes them happy, right? WRONG! It increases the amount of unhealthy sugar in her diet (which is not helping her) and it teaches her that she can negotiate for the right bribe because you are worried that she won’t eat her dinner and will be hungry.
Next it is the school-age child who gets another electronic device because it will make him happy. All of his friends have them so really it’s the ‘Nice’ thing to do. How is all of this stuff helping him to become a kind, caring, active, generous, independent human being? How is the daily argument to turn off the device/computer/TV helping your relationship? It isn’t.
What about the teen who is struggling with her homework. You ‘Nicely’ help her with her project and email the teacher to ask for an extension just to help her out. You do her chores for her because she has a big test coming up and needs the time to study. NO – when you ‘Nicely’ put yourself between your teen and her problems, you become the problem. She needs to learn how to ask the teacher for help. She needs a chance to schedule her life with time to get chores and studying done. You already passed High School – now it is her turn.
This popular video about Richie Parker is a brilliant example of how parents were not too nice.
They could have protected him and done everything for him. Instead, they supported him and he has persevered to become a strong, independent role model for so many of us.
Go ahead; be nice to your kids this Mother’s Day and every day. Just don’t be too nice – you will kill them with kindness.