Don’t take it personally
Getting clear about what is right for your family is not always as easy as it is simple. As we mentioned last week, the expectations we originally had for the kind of family we would raise might not be based in reality. Things change, people change, the kind of control we thought we might have is different than what we really do have.
In today’s culture, there is a great deal of information coming our way. With so many facts and perspectives flying at us it is easy to wonder whether we are doing “everything we can be” for our children. The reality is, that we can’t do everything. A parent’s job is to discern what is right for the family at that time, and to get clear and consistent on how it will be done.
When Parenting Power sends our monthly Thoughtful Thursdays, it isn’t to hound you, it isn’t to criticize you, it isn’t to guilt or shame you. We send information. We send ideas. We send strategies. We send questions. There is a lot of research behind what we send. We do our best to find credible research; and the truth is: one can find research to back up many things nowadays.
Ultimately, when you are reading information and ideas about parenting, (or anything,) it’s important that you tune in to your thoughts and feelings. Strong reactions can teach us a lot about ourselves.
In his well-known book, The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruez writes,
“Don’t take anything personally. When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts. You make something big out of something so little , because you have the need to be right and make everybody else wrong.”
Get clear about your parenting. If you feel guilty, use that feeling to show you that something matters. Don’t dwell in the guilt and take it personally; make a decision about how and when you will make it happen and then do it. Act, don’t Yak!
This week, ask yourself these questions:
Do I take things personally?
Do I need to change everything all the time?
What are the areas in parenting that really matter to me right now?
What actions will I take to make a change?