Does your child want you to watch?
Activities are starting up again this fall. This means lots of car rides, practices, auditions, evaluations, home practice, games and performances in the months and weeks ahead.
September is a great time to focus on how you (the parent) will behave during these activities (your kids’ activities.)
Changing The Game Project recently posted An Open Letter To My Dad, Who Makes Me Want To Quit Sports.
It starts out,
I was afraid to say this to your face after the game today, but I was thinking that maybe you could stop coming to my games for a while. It doesn’t seem that fun for you anyway, and I know it’s not fun for me when you are there. I used to love when you watched my play when I was younger, but now, I wish you weren’t there. I think I am starting to hate playing soccer. I might quit. I bet you are wondering why.
I heard you in the stands today during my soccer game. I was going to say I heard you cheering, but that wasn’t really what you were doing. You were coaching.” read more
We’ve all seen this parent in the stands, (a little quieter at the ballet or music performance but still there.) Maybe, each of us has even found ourselves being this parent at times. It is so easy to get caught up in our kids’ lives. It is almost like there is not boundary between their lives and our own.
There is. This September, is about getting clear where you end and your child begins. Your activities vs your child’s activities. Your school choices versus your child’s school choices. Your friends vs your child’s friends.
Does your child want you to watch games or performances?
Could your child have written this letter?
How does your child want you to act when you are watching?
This is a great conversation-starter for the dinner table this week. The letter is well-written. We encourage you to read it and to share it. Get clear on what your actions are teaching your child as you watch from the stands this year.