Do you feel like no have no choice?
At this time of year, it can feel like there are waaaay too many choices – how many different types of mechanical pencils can there be?
On the other hand, there are many times in our parenting lives where it feels like we have no choice;
* We are stuck with a kid who won’t pick up his stuff
* We are stuck with a kid who doesn’t listen
* We had to yell at our child as it is the only way that anything ever gets done!
It can feel devastating to believe that one has no choice. We know that our kids don’t like it – the moment they feel that they have no choice or control in a situation, their fight begins. They push back, dig in their heels and just say no. They are done. Shut down!
It may feel that way for us as parents too. Having no choice means that our world has shut down. We go along with the regular stuff but it’s not fun, we don’t like it and it seems fairly hopeless.
We recently heard Lisa Garr, radio and TV host discussing the unifying belief that she has learned from many of the over 1500 interviews she has done. She said that it was the fact that we always have a choice.
The reason that this resonated with us so clearly is that the two of us have always taught that to our students, young and old. We believe that even when one believes one has no choice, that one is making the choice to hold that belief.
We always have a choice – if the situation can be no other way, then we have a choice about our outlook. If the situation can be different, then it is up to us; first to choose to change it and then to choose how.
The moment that we believe we have a choice, there is hope. We are no longer playing the role of victim – we are taking responsibility. The choices may not even be that great – but at least we have a choice. As parents, we have the choice to see our children where they are right this moment. We can make the choice to believe that they will grow and change and that they are capable. We can make the choice to find a baby step to teach to our child to allow growth in a certain direction. We can also choose to believe that we can grow and change as parents.
Parenting Power is able to help you with any baby steps you may want to make. That’s our job – we do it all the time. We believe that you are capable and we believe that we always have a choice.
Final Summer deal of the week – Crabby Mornings
You definitely have a choice about how you spend your mornings! If you think that you have a permanently crabby child – think again. This podcast will help you to transform your mornings
The rest of our downloadable podcasts are $10 each. You can find them here. Of course, if you are a member, you have access all of them on the member website. We’d love to hear which one is your favourite.