Are you bitter?
You will often hear us say,
“What are you doing for your children that they could be doing for themselves?”
We ask you, and we ask it of ourselves.
This is a Parenting Powerism through and through. Most of the time, we are asking you because, when you do for a child what she can do for herself, you are removing that child’s purpose.
Today, we ask for a different reason: when you do for a child what he can do for himself, you are adding a bunch of stuff to your plate that really doesn’t need to be there.
If you do it once, no biggie. If you do it frequently, micro-managing your child’s entire life, you may feel exhausted, overwhelmed and even, dare we say…bitter?
When you were sitting around in the good old days, dreaming of your future life roles, there is a good chance that while, loving parent, good friend, successful ____ were on the list, martyr wasn’t one of the top 10. Often, as we are talking with clients or workshop attendees, we hear about exhaustion, and a feeling of being highly under-appreciated.
If you are playing the role of martyr in your life, here are some questions for you:
Are you modelling being responsible for your life situation?
Are you modelling the values of showing and expecting respect?
Are you playing the victim?
At Parenting Power, we believe that there is more than one right way to parent. Perhaps you have decided that there are certain areas where you will continue to “Do for your children…” It really is all about intention. If you are going to continue to pick up clothes off of the floor, then do so without complaint. Decide that you don’t need your child’s appreciation to validate your behaviours.
Wayne Dyer said,
“Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”
Spending your life feeling bitter leaves a funny taste in your mouth, and models that attitude for those around you. You have the power to change your attitude to reflect your intention and model a life of purpose.